Dear Taio Cruz..

While driving in the car today to find my new bank, my ipod died. My ipod's recent death is because of my insane addiction to an app called "Cut the Rope." I'm sorry, but if you have not played it, you are not wasting enough of your time. I wish I was playing it right now.

Anyways, I turned the radio on and started hearing the lyrics to Taio Cruz's song "Dynamite." If you are not familiar with this track, or Taio Cruz for that matter (I had no idea who he was), I will list part of the lyrics I remember below.

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Saying AYO
Gotta let go
I wanna celebrate and live my life
Saying AYO
Baby, let's go

I realize that these lyrics are probably inspiring you, but let's not focus on that. Let's focus on the fact that I was diagnosing Mr. Cruz with a serious neurological disorder. You throw your hands up in the air sometimes? Do people actually do this? I cannot think of one time that I did this when I was not at a sporting or music event. So that leads me to think he is not getting enough dopamine to his brain. That could be Parkinson's disease. Then the songs goes on to say he likes to hit the floor. Oh my God, are you epileptic? I do not understand this song. Even if I did not have a medically-based brain, what is this song?

I realize that this is ridiculous and I am taking this song out of context, but I just thought... What if he is actually writing a song about his illnesses? Then I suppose I should have thought: Taylor, you are psychotic. Stop diagnosing people. However, my brain does not have a filter like that.

Anyways, this is a weird post, but I am in a good mood because I had a great day today. And I wanted to thank everyone who has been reading my blog. I found out you can check your blog's stats and it is a little overwhelming that so many people read this. I really thought maybe three people would be read it, be disappointed, and never read it again. I also wanted to formally apologize for not using livejournal. I received a few tweets about that, but honestly I liked Blogspot's setup better.

I will talk to you guys in a few days! P.S. I did not have any pictures to give you, so here is a bearded man, Jake Gyllenhaal. I have a strong affection for facial hair.

 

Taylor

I Scare People.

I am in college with a part time job at a fast food joint. I know it is not a glamorous or coveted job, but I get flexible hours and free food. I work hard and efficiently, especially when cleaning, which is why I look kind of funny all of the time. 

 

I cannot help but look crazy because I work with boys. Do not get me wrong, I love working with guys. They are a secretly more sensitive than girls, but are generally a hundred times funnier. This probably makes me shallow, but if you are not funny I will not be friends with you. If being a little shallow is wrong, well.. I still do not want to be friends with you. Anyways, the downside to working with boys is that they are not skilled at cleaning. They can easily recognize a clean surface from a dirty one, but somehow do not comprehend the process to get to the goal of cleanliness. This drives me insane. When I clean the dining room at night, my partner, who is closing with me, usually complains. I take my time sweeping the floors and make sure I wipe every millimeter of every table. I check over what my partner has done, meaning I fix what they did wrong without them noticing.The dining room looks quite sparkley by the time I am done with it. The guys I close with used to try to make me work faster (or poorly) until I threatened to sing songs from Enchanted. A little Disney can go a long way.

I did not realize I had an acute OCD until I started working here. We were trained to actually serve customers rather than give them their food and pick our bellybuttons. That cleaning is important, but keeping the customer happy is more important. I get it! I used to walk around the dining room asking customers if I could take their trash for them or refresh their drinks. Most of them look at me in fear before responding and I do not really understand this. I am not threatening their firstborn, but just wanting to wipe their crumby mess up.

Some people stick their tongues out because I am beautiful. Not scary.

After they take a moment to regroup, this type will ALWAYS say no to whatever I ask them. I do not understand this. I can clearly see that their table has ketchup smeared everywhere and yet they still say no. This makes me feel like a robot because I cannot comprehend why they want a ketchupped table.

I am not trying to invade your space, but yet you look at me as though the smoke monster is coming out of my face.

I do not really understand this.

My Dog Sees Dead People

Today has been one of those gloomy days. In layman terms: I took a nap. I was in and out of consciousness, dreaming that I cleaned my room to the level of OCD. Every time I woke, a shower of disappointment fell over me. I was not disappointed that my room was not clean, but that I had fallen asleep while reading a good book and dreamed four times about thoroughly cleaning my room.

The last time I woke, I found my dog, Sydney, hiding under my bed. I have no idea why after seven years of "My butt shall rest on nothing but golden and fluffy pillows" she has decided to be a real dog and sleep on hardwood floors... under my bed. Do real dogs do that? Anyways, I put my hand down, bracing myself for the cold nose. When nothings happens, I look under my bed, still refusing to get out. (My bed is warm and it loves me) I see Sydney huddled in the corner with crazy eyes.

At this point, I notice it. One of the weirdest things my dog has ever done. My dog has aligned all of her toys in a semi-circle in front of her crate door. The first thing that strikes my mind is that my dog is great with shapes! This is so impressive! She really took time to make sure her toys were even and spread out accordingly. This dog probably knows sign language. The second thing I thought of was that this looks like she was trying to have a seance. Except she went for squeaky squirrels and tennis balls instead of salt. (A salt circle is known to protect you from spirits you are contacting in such events.) I have posted a visual aid. It may not look weird, but these toys were all over my apartment and for them to be in a perfect semi-circle... of course that means my dog is protecting herself from unwanted spirits.

I know this is not really relevant, but sometimes I really appreciate history. My apartment was built in the 1930's so it is awesome. On every door frame are old hinges for doors because that was how they retained heat inside back then. But it is kind of weird to think how many people must have lived here in the 80 years before us and how much Raleigh has changed since then.

Anyways my dog is awesome.

*--My dog is not awesome. She killed a baby mouse. Sydney is showing little remorse. Sociopath.

**--Maybe my dog is taking precautions because she thinks the mouse she brutally murdered this morning will haunt her.